If you can’t deal with my sarcasm. I can’t deal with being your friend.
what’s it called when you have friends but you’re still lonely
seeing assholes u used to be friends with like
Photo reblogged from
That is the opening of a portal to another dimension and you cannot tell me otherwise
really cos um. im pretty sure thats a lightning guy riding a lightning horse???
I can’t breathe
my friend’s dog was sick and couldn’t get up so they were gonna put him down and as his final supper they got him a big mac and when the dog smelled it he shot up and ate it in one bite and lived for three more years
you ever wanna fuck the living shit outta somebody but also cook for them and make sure they’re emotionally stable?
bring it AROUND town
this freaked me out cause patrick got serious
[job interviewer voice] we found naked pictures of you during a quick google search for your name and we wish to inform you…… that your bod is slammin’ 10/10 you’re hired see you monday
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